Different Deliveries: Celebrating All Kinds of Childbirth
While nine months pregnant, my son flipped and lodged his head near my rib cage, refusing to come down. My doctor warned me that if he didn’t assume a head-down position by his due date, I would be scheduled for a cesarean section. I tried everything: swimming, assisted handstands, acupuncture, essential oils and sheer will power. I scoured the internet for solutions in any attempt to avoid a major abdominal surgery.
I was nervous about surgery, of course, but I was more worried that I’d be missing out on a critical part of the birthing experience. Three years earlier, I’d given birth to my daughter after 32 hours of labor, a manual breaking of my water and intense contractions before the sweet relief of an epidural. It was demanding and excruciating, but I’d felt a sense of triumph and pride afterwards. Would I still feel that same elation if this baby was surgically removed? Would recovery be too hard? Would I feel that same connection? I worried about these things as I neared closer and closer to the inevitable.
Unfortunately, no amount of peppermint oil or shots to my little toe would encourage this baby to move, so into the operating room I went. Within an hour of prepping for surgery, my doctor held up a gorgeous baby boy and I truly didn’t care how he’d gotten there. While finishing the procedure, my options to hold him were limited, so my husband held him close for me to smell him and kiss his face.
Minutes later, in the recovery room, I held him and quickly abandoned any worries of feeling disconnected. It was a different birthing experience from my first one entirely, but I still felt pride. It was still hard, just a different type of hard. Recovery was challenging in both circumstances, while one required mesh underwear and donut pillows, the other called for medication and incision care. After each, I was too immersed by the all-consuming task of caring for a newborn to worry whether one birthing experience had more merit. After my own contrasting experiences and speaking to many others willing to share their stories, I firmly believe there is no easy or wrong way to bring a child into the world or into our lives. Whether a child comes to us through the birthing canal, C-section, medicated or unmedicated births, through surrogacy or adoption, all childbirth experiences are valid, all are challenging—and no two are alike.
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