Surrogacy Stories: Virginia and Jared’s Journey to Becoming Parents through Surrogacy

People have many different versions of “family.” The family they’re born to, the family into which they’re adopted, or maybe the family they choose. For those who choose surrogacy as a means to start or grow their family, whether as the only option or as a last resort, it’s an amazing blessing. Surrogacy offers the ability to bring a dream to fruition, to take us from darkness to light, and to make hope for the future a reality.

My name is Wendie Wilson-Miller and I’ve been working in the field of assisted reproduction for over 23 years. As a native of Southwest Washington and owner of a Portland-area surrogacy agency, I’ll be sharing a series of “Surrogacy Stories” over the coming months from other Pacific Northwest natives.  Most of these stories will include first-hand accounts of the assisted reproduction journey from the point of view of our surrogates, but this month’s story is that of Intended Parents, or “IPs.”

Virginia and Jared chose surrogacy when they were near to feeling that all hope was lost. They connected with their surrogate, Tassia, through All Families Surrogacy, and their life changed forever. Here is Virginia’s story, in her own words.

We have always wanted a family. However, I had longstanding health issues that prevented me from being able to carry a pregnancy safely. We knew we were going to need outside help to make our dreams come true. We spent three long years looking for friends and family who could carry a baby for us but weren’t able to find anyone who could help us out. 

There are a lot of requirements to being a surrogate and we found out in those years, it’s hard to find someone who is medically able and is willing to help grow a family for someone else. So, we made the tough decision to look into an agency. Little did we know it would be one of the best decisions we would make.

We started with the first agency to open in our state. They are large, run by attorneys, and help a few hundred families a year. Unfortunately, they were not interested in our wants or family goals. After realizing that, they stopped responding to us. It was devastating! After that, we felt all hope was lost.

Luckily, someone from our IVF office told us they loved All Families Surrogacy (AFS) and to give them a call. We immediately felt heard and it felt like a giant weight had been lifted when we started working with AFS.

AFS is a smaller agency run by women that have been surrogates! They made the process much more personal, listened to our concerns and accommodated us without judgment. We felt compassion and actual care in creating our family. Of course, there were still bumps in the road but they are all part of the normal surrogacy learning curve and AFS walked us through all of those. Even if it took an after-hours call, they were there to talk us through.

 Surrogacy is a long process and after months of waiting, AFS sent us a profile of a family that was more perfect than we could have found ourselves! You could ask anyone who has watched the process over the last three years and they would tell you that our family expanded by more than just a baby! We love the same things and really miss each other between visits! 

The first day we met, we couldn’t stop talking and it just built from there. It’s not an understatement to say that it’s the hardest thing to trust someone to create the future of your family life. You worry about every little thing that person could do, the choices they make–it’s a real and valid fear on the side of the intended parents. But we felt so much comfort knowing AFS does a vetting process beforehand and after meeting our surrogate Tassia, and her family, we were all in!

We talked and planned with Tassia a lot in our excitement over the months, awaiting this baby’s arrival. Catching my baby was at the top of my and Tassia’s list of hopes for delivery day. My husband was just up for anything. As a woman it’s hard to be so removed from the process of carrying your baby. You can’t feel anything. Nothing seems different, it’s surreal. So, as we went into that beautiful birth suite in the dark early hours of that morning, I was ready to “feel” anything I could be included in.

My husband and I were beside ourselves with excitement but also felt a deep sense of peace. Peace . . . in that after so many years of heartache we were “seeing the light at the end of the tunnel” and we couldn’t have designed a better couple to be with us in that room, that day. That tiny egg that had been removed from me so long ago had grown and I caught my sweet boy before he took his first breath. It was a beautiful birth, with not a dry eye in the room! 

That day we became parents . . . and a part of ourselves that seemed to have died was reborn.

We are a year out from that surreal moment and it’s hard to believe. AFS has supported us and Tassia all the way through and we still hear from them today. We have a son. It’s still hard to believe some days, but he brings us more joy than we could have imagined. And for all the years where we felt different or not enough, watching all our friends with families of their own . . . now we are whole, and healed.

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE JOYS OF BEING A SURROGATE? LEARN MORE HERE.

GO HERE TO READ ALL OF THE SURROGACY STORIES IN THIS SERIES, including the experience of Virginia and Jared’s surrogate, Tassia.

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Featured photo: Virginia and Jared (right) in the delivery room with their son and their surrogate, Tassia and her husband (left).